As the hot July sun rose on Saturday morning, plenty of thoughts were running through the minds of the Wembley CC players:
_
“Where will I get my runs today?”
“Will Amogh (The Goose) turn up on time finally?”
“Will Nicko survive the fixture with all his limbs in tact?”
“What does Junayd keep in that little satchel thing he has?”
“Wtf was that Olympics Opening Ceremony I watched last night?”_

Some of these questions would be answered, some we will never be able to conclude on fully.

Today was a big day and everyone knew it. After a disappointing bottle job last week against Winchmore Hill, this was even more important as the bottom two teams went head to head. In the previous fixture we had managed to bowl the opposition out for 60 odd and won the game by 9 wickets. Naturally, the lads were looking forward to bowling first, getting them out cheap again, chasing it down and getting cracking on the MDL X 2s social early in the glorious sunshine…

Blaino wins the toss - Yes!
He elects to bat first - FFS

The lads trudge off to slap the pads on…

With Joel being absent, Amogh and Rajdeep led the team out. El Ganso, on the back of a 50 last week looked in excellent form with a carved 4 over the top, inspiring an equally elegant flick from Rajdeep over midwicket. We were looking confident until Amogh decided to slap one straight to mid on - The Goose waddled off for 4, taking shitshot of the day with him. Rajdeep soon also fell quickly after and we were suddenly 18-2.

Time for the trusty duo of Pandya and Abbasi to steady the ship, and they did just that, piling on 81 together. Mayank was playing free flowing cricket, smacking all bowling with his trademark late cut, as well as some big hits over midwicket rushing to 50 in no time. Abbasi played an intelligent innings, just supporting Mayank and helping to kill the opposition optimism, also hitting shot of the day with a massive 6 over mid on - take note everyone.

Eventually, succumbing to the heat, Mayank and Abbasi quickly fell for 50 and 34 respectively. This was a clever move as this brought the two Aussies in who are used to the high temperatures. Nick and Tom really pushed the rate with some hefty blows and quick running, putting on 65 together, getting us to 171-5, before Nick overestimated his speed which he has lost over the years of beers, hair loss, and missing joints, he ran himself out despite a spectacular dive - the tremors of which could be felt back in the 2s game at Wembley.

Tom didn’t let this phase him, clearly inspired by his patient girlfriend being in attendance, it was difficult to see what was harder - his ball striking or his ****. I don’t really care, as it worked and he cruised to a brilliant 69 (nice), carrying Amogh’s bat to its highest score in 3 years and getting the team to 220.

Junayd, still trying to convince Blaino he can bat, got promoted up the order to do one thing, hit the ball for 6. Being 2 off 6 and miraculously running a 2, he needed to prove his hitting ability…

_- Loopy slow delivery
- Short straight boundary
- Junayd eyes wide (belly wider)
- Smack!
- Straight down long off’s throat
- Vrushank back up the order next week_

We ended 239/9 after 55 overs after Blaino left the last ball of the innings (thanks skip). Overall an excellent batting display - over to the bowlers.

After a subpar tea, with grubby fielder hands all over the sandwiches and a shambolic halftime pitch maintenance serving as entertainment, Wembley were ready to make the opposition pay.

We opened up with Junayd and Vrushank. We set some clear traps with Vrush making an early breakthrough thanks to an excellent catch from Ankit. To everyone’s shock, Chris “Southgate” Blaine made a bold change - hooking Vrush for the Aussie Cunt. Once again, Aussies in the heat delivered the goods - Nick picking up wicket after wicket, and like magneto, whenever a ball went in the air Tom attracted it straight into his hands. Nick ended up with a well deserved 5fer with joints still functioning and crucially dismissing their gun bat, with Tom “No Panich At The Disco” taking 3 catches at cover. Vimto also chipped in with 3 wickets and a vital catch. Ankit finished the job with a nice caught behind into the starved wicketless lion’s jaws at 1st slip.

A very good win that we’ll need to take forward for the rest of the season.

MoM - Nicko: A close run thing with Panich and Pandya for their excellent batting innings, but it’s hard to overlook a 5fer.

Shitshot - Hoskote: Stiffest back in Middlesex stood still and hoicked an awful shot to mid on when he was only on 4.

DoD - Abbasi: For no reason at all, apart from Junayd being sad he can’t hit a boundary and getting no wickets, convinced the crowd to vote for this innocent man.